August 15, 2001 fun

Conference.NET Song Lyrics

King of the Code

Sung to King of the Road”

Platform for sale or rent
who cares where all the others went
no more pointer, pushes, pops or peaks
I ain’t got no memory leaks
I wrote ten lines of C# today
I was more productive than yesterday
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

I feel sorry for those guys at Sun
DOTNET has got them on the run
But when I hear Scott McNeally whine
I say stick your VM where the Sun don’t shine
Most folks agree VB DOT NET
Is the best version of Java that we’ve seen yet
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

You C guys think all this stuff is new
A friendly runtime that hides the goo
I’m a VB guy, better watch out for me
cause I’ve been writing managed code since 93
Database code’s busted — no time to cry
Patch it all to the newest API
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

New waves they come and go so fast
COM was love, but love don’t last
If COM was love than what’s DOTNET
It’s love without the cigarette
DOTNET will be here till we all get bored
Then we’ll throw it away and invent DOT-ORG
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

Wild Side

Bill G came from Seattle WA
Spread .NET across the USA
Plucked out pointers on the way
Shaved ref counting - started sporting GC
He said Hey babe take a walk on the wild side
Hey babe take a walk on the wild side

Chris Sells never once threw one away
In the end, he had to pay and pay
An object here, and object there
Memory is the place where they say
Hey Chrissie, take a walk on the wild side
I say hey babe, let’s going back home and finalize

And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do
doooooooooooooooo ah
 
<break>The musical stylings of Francesco Balena</break>

Jon Flanders came from out of the heartland
With ASP he’s was everybody’s darling
But he never lost his head
Even when they told him COM was dead
I said hey Jon, take a walk on the wild side
I believe they call it Interop-O-cide

Brian Randell came and hit the streets
Hoping .NET would bring inter-language peace
He hates it when those bigots say
C#’s for work, VBs for play
I say hey Brian, take a walk on the wild side
It’s curly braces that make your code bonafide

My friend Don Box, he’s just coding away
Though he was James Joyce for a day
Yeah I guess Don’s pretty smart
But he mistakes his code for art
I say Hey Don, take a walk on the wild side
You’re just a liquor salesman, it can’t be denied

And the .NET girls go ….

And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do

Bill G and the Feds

Sung to Bennie and the Jets”

Hey kids - you wanna see a scene-o
Let’s watch Billy Gates get it on with Janet Reno
We’re talking anti-trust now - so stick around
Gonna rack legal bills that know no bound
Hey Joel Kline he’s on the case
Oh man he’s so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he’s so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom scene
He’s got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds

Hey kids, go crank up your browsers
You’re in for nasty weather, gonna make you wet your trousers We’re
gonna stifle competition with such as sense of ease Gonna bring those
bastards from Netscape down to their knees Hey Judge Jackson, have you
heard this case Oh man, his ruling was so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he’s so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom seen
He’s got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds

Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds…
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds…

DevelopMentor’s Conference.NET
Sung by the .NET Band on the Runtime

August 15, 2001 fun

Mr. June, 2000

Mr. June, 2000
Nothing comes between me and my technology…


All pictures courtesy of Jason Whittington’s most excellent PhotoShop skills.

See the parody by Ted Neward inspired by this picture.

August 8, 2001 tools

.NET XML Checker and Validator

Aug 8, 2001

xmlValid is simple command line utility that will check an xml file for well-formedness and, optionally, will validate it against a supplied XML schema file (xsd). I built it to check that my site’s HTML files were well-formed (and therefore XHTML-compliance), but it’s got all kinds of other uses, including checking .NET .config files. Source is included. Enjoy.

Usage: xmlValid.exe xmlFile [xsdFile]

Note that this utility requires .NET beta 2 to be installed.

August 7, 2001 tools

Setting the Completion Character

Aug 7, 2001

Whenever I set up a new machine (which happens a lot as WinXP and .NET go through their beta & RC cycles), I always need to manually set up the completion character (to TAB, of course) in the Registry. Shawn VanNess posted a .rgs file that would set this up without the lengthy search through the Registry. Inspired by Shawn, here’s my own completionChar.reg that doesn’t require a program to parse .rgs files (which doesn’t come with Windows).

BTW, if you don’t know about the command shell’s Completion Character, stop right now, run the completionChar.reg file, start up a WinNT/Win2K/WinXP command shell, type cd c:\p[TAB]” and watch while the shell expands it to cd C:\Program Files" for you. If you have other directories that start with c:\p”, continue to hit [TAB] to cycle through them. This works for any directory or file name and it boosts my productivity by about 100% on the command line. I can’t live without it!

August 6, 2001 spout

What I Love Best About .NET

Monday, 8/6/01

DevelopMentor has long attracted smart folks. Really smart folks. These are the caliber of people that forces you to look up every once and a while and question your own worthiness. With this many high-caliber people together, you’d think they’d be able to look objectively at the world and avoid such religious arguments as What’s the best language?”, What’s the best platform?” and What’s the best editor?”

Nope.

We get into arguments like this (and even more esoteric) stuff all the time. Oh, open debate is healthy and we eventually come to a reasoned, balanced decision, blah, blah, blah, but these kinds of arguments made me realize that the thing I love most about .NET is that one of the most contentious arguments has just gone away: What’s the best language?” In the old days, this boiled down to VB vs. C++, otherwise known as practical vs. theoretical, simple vs. complicated or even, my personal favorite, journalism major vs. computer scientist. The argument was a real one, though, because VB6 and below put a real straight jacket on you when it came to real object-oriented features (the lack of implementation inheritance springs to mind), whereas C++ was so hard for so many people, it was almost impossible to build correct code with it. Much mud was thrown during these debates and no progress was ever made.

Until now.

Now, we have the same What’s the best language” arguments over VB.NET vs. C#, but they always peter out very quickly. While it’s true that VB.NET makes it much easier to build late binding component clients and C# allows unsafe code sections, neither of these features is enough for us to avoid agreeing that, modulo syntax, the two languages overlap by about 90%. Which means, and now I’m coming to the part that really makes me love .NET, I get to work with lots more smart people at DevelopMentor. Before, it was about the star-bellied Sneetches and the plain-bellied Sneetches. Since I felt I was one with a star on his belly (doesn’t everyone feel that way?), I couldn’t work with those without stars upon thars! Well, Sylvester McMonkey McBean, you can teach a Sneetch! [1]

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who I’ve never been able to work with before, because we’ve always had a great divide between us caused by my C++ bias. Now, for the first time, we get to work together! He can do his stuff in VB and I can either work with it directly, or I can easily port it to C#, because all the classes and functions that he’s going use in VB are going to be identical to what I would do in C#. So, while 90% of the language features overlap, there’s 99.999% overlap in the framework and how to use it between the two languages. To answer Rodney King’s immortal question, Yes. Finally, thank .NET, we can all just get along.”

[1] Those of you with kids will understand…

August 6, 2001 tools

NullScript Used to Reverse Engineer Gen

Wow. I’m impressed as all get out. Hugh Brown has reverse-engineered Gen as one of the tests of his NullScript implementation. I wish I would have had this when I started Gen a couple of years ago. It would’ve saved me figuring out how ASP did it.

My thinking along these lines years ago led me to go the opposite way, i.e. I built a front-end ASP parser that generated script for VBS. I called it TextBox (which, as a Win32 programmer, I should’ve realized was a terrible name…).

August 5, 2001 fun

Some MORE signs that you may be taking COM too seriously…

  • Your weekly beach volley ball matches are between teams named Proxies’ and ‘Stubs’.
  • You read ATL Internals’ while waiting in line for the next ride at Universal studios
  • You are locked outside your house without your keys and the sticky note at the door reads CoLockObjectExternal’ when your wife gets back.
  • You ask your bank if they can send your monthly balance statements in XML format.
  • You return your neighbor’s telephone call saying it was an interapartment callback.
  • You ask your cable television company if they support Channel Hooks.
  • You decide to do some detective work by night and call yourself the IMallocSpy.
  • Your kid asks you what a female Ox is called and you reply OXID.

Aravind Corera
Originally written for IDevResource
Private Email

August 5, 2001 tools

Moniker Wizard

Here’s my moniker wizard that includes the framework used by the Basic Monikers.


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